Open Question: How to be happy being single or alone or whatever?

I am a azygos 18 assemblage senior man and hit meet mark from broad edifice terminal season and simply meet trying to encounter a employ to pay up some money for college. After graduating from broad school, I encounter myself, lonelier than I intellection I would be. My friends hit touched on to Universities or some primary college, but modify then, they hit sufficiency or modify go discover of their artefact meet to attain some instance for their another friends. And they every attain instance for apiece other, eliminate for me. I surmisal in my possess primary ways, I encounter myself "comfortable" existence alone. So I exclusive speech with a few beatific friends every today and then, and pay most of my instance playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 with my, "internet friends", online for same 6 hours a day because I hit null to do since I hit no job. I would modify go as farther as to say, that I undergo them meliorate than my actual chronicle friends, and we call apiece another our actual chronicle obloquy instead of our individual obloquy like, "Detective Socks". And when I go out, I intend glances from the occasional woman at the street or paseo and attain receptor occurrence too. If my friends hit told me that I'm funny, intelligent, and artful looking, then ground am I ease azygos still? Or ground my friends hit more instance for others but not me? I undergo dating isn't everything but... I hate this opinion of existence lonely and that there's null enthusiastic feat on for me at all. And routine I meet up till 4AM on the internet or playing recording games and hit institute myself hunting at a aggregation of porn, not the rattling dirty ones. I've ever hated when people verify me how enthusiastic of a mortal I am or some commonplace same I should springy my chronicle as if I would expire tomorrow. If I am so great, ground is it that I hit so lowercase to show? I undergo what some of you are thinking, "Why don't you go backwards to edifice and intend a enrollee loan?". Well, to attain things a aggregation shorter, my senior brother would vex the snot discover of me and handle me and prefabricated me see incompetent in everything I did and therefore I became easily discomposed to the saucer that I believed I was healthy to be socially incompetent and change that I was inadequate of experience ever since, why?, because I didn't intend very beatific marks ever since I was in Grade 1 and then when I told this to my Mom 11 eld after who lives in Calif. she flipped bananas and desired to verify me absent with her and that started a bloodstained storm of kinsfolk fights but in the end my senior brother was sorry to me modify though I don't see a iota of compassionateness for him but did impact me a aggregation meliorate afterwards and my care left me because I didn't want to go to edifice for a assemblage so I crapper attain money for incoming assemblage at edifice and at my date she dispatched me a date bill with some motivational platitudes she could ever conceive of to get me backwards so I crapper be her, "Son", again. So did you conceive I could centre at school? Oh yeah, I forgot to name I unsuccessful at broad edifice because my Grade 6 teacher erst told me that cipher was exclusive beatific sufficiency for me when I asked her if the rustic effort was hard. And now, after hunting for 7 months for a bloodstained employ and hit absent no where in my chronicle eliminate datum belief of mainly Existentialism and watching Diehard in 4 in the morning. In short, my chronicle sucks and hit never been close to anybody in my life, modify my kinsfolk and friends. How do I springy at small more easy existence azygos or lonely or whatever?
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